Being Intentional

So I posted a while ago about some of the health problems I've been dealing with, as well as some of the other things that have been going on over the last couple of years. I've been out of the art loop for several years now, and I probably haven't been really 100% on top of things with my art studio since before the crazy moves in 2011 and 2012 before Sophie was born. 2014 was a bad year. 2015 was spent recovering from 2014. 2016 sucked too, and I've been determined to not let 2017 be just recovering from 2016, although that has been a lot of it--more than I'd like.

But it hasn't been all of it. That pleases me. Things are also going to change. In good ways. I've been very focused on intention this year. I want everything I do to have a purpose. For example, consider this blog. I've been doing better about posting here consistently, but it hasn't been perfect. Instead of wasting energy stressing over what I've missed or haven't been able to get done when I wanted, I've moved on. For the blog that's meant, letting the missed post (or two or three posts) go. I'm not going to stress over posting something late. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I'll just pick up with the next planned post and move on. For other projects, it has meant re-evaluating my goals to keep them reasonable, not stressing when I don't meet deadlines I set for myself. It's also meant putting limits on what I say I can do.

In general though, things are improving. I've been posting here more consistently, and it gets better with each month. I'm getting to where I can work on projects more consistently too. Some weeks are definitely better than others--this is going to be one of those more stressful weeks. I'm writing this at 3 a.m. from work (I work nights as a 9-1-1 call taker). This isn't my normal shift, but I was on-call tonight, and got called in. I work normally this week Monday and Tuesday night, as well as Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. To offset that, I only work Wednesday and Thursday nights next week, but it does make for a tough week this week, especially since I'm on call again Thursday, and there's at least a 65% chance I will need to come in. So, it's going to be a rough week, mostly for sleep and remembering to do things--like post on this blog--in a timely manner. The hardest part about these crazy weeks is that I lose track of time and what day it is. I like my job though. And, it's a consistent paycheck that is helping to pay off all the medical bills from the last year. Although I'd love it if my art studio could pull off that kind of consistency, it's unrealistic to expect it to take off like that after being on hiatus for several years.

I do have plans to transition this to being my full time job, but it's going to take some time. We've got some great plans for what's going to be happening in the next couple of years. 2017 has been about getting back on my feet and getting things going again--it's been slower than I'd like, and there have been set backs, but I'm pleased to see things (especially good things) happening. I'm looking forward to 2018 being even better. This is intentional. I am doing things to make 2018 better and not just hoping that it will be that way.